Grandparents Rights Support Group
What is happening to American families? It used to be unusual to hear about families that were splintered, keeping grandparents and grandchildren separated. Now it is the most common challenge, from what grandparents tell me. These grandparents are in every state and at every socioeconomic level, and each of their situations is unique. But they have one thing in common: They are heartbroken to be kept away from their grandchildren. AARP
WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEND A GRANDPARENTS’ RIGHTS SUPPORT GROUP?
Meeting First Tuesday of Every Month - 6 p.m.
1032 Burnell Drive
Berea, KY
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Anyone interested in starting their own Grandparents Rights Support Group may contact us for assistance.
State of Grandparents Rights
Tommie Granville and Brad Troxel were the unmarried parents of two daughters. When their relationship ended, Troxel, the father, often took the girls to his parents’ home for visits. After Troxel committed suicide two years later, his parents continued to see the girls. After Tommie Granville remarried and her husband adopted the girls, she tried to limit the visits of the Troxel grandparents. The Troxels filed suit based on the Washington Statue Statute, which didn’t actually mention grandparents but granted “third parties” the right to file for visitation. The case made its way through the
The Supreme Court affirmed the decision of the Supreme Court of Washington. The heart of the decision is a statement that “fit parents” are presumed to act in their children’s best interests. The state should not, therefore, “inject itself into the private realm of the family” to question the decisions of those parents. The court also characterized the
Impact of the Decision
Many states have rewritten or amended their statutes in the wake of Troxel v. Granville. In some states, suits for visitation may only be filed if there has been a divorce, death or other disruptive circumstance in the family. An “intact” family—a married couple—is usually judged to have the right to make decisions about grandparent visitation. In families that are not intact, grandparents suing for visitation must provide evidence, usually described as “clear and convincing” evidence, that visitation is in the best interests of the child. In states with more stringent statutes, the grandparents may be required to show that the child will suffer harm if visitation is not allowed. In court, proving a child will suffer “harm” if they do not see grandparents is much more difficult to do than proving it is in the “best interest” of the child to see
Future of Visitation Rights
It is possible that the U.S. Supreme Court will revisit this issue in the future. It is certain that state statutes will continue to be revised and also that those statutes will be impacted by case law as they are tested in court.
Given this decision, the issue of “fit” parent is unclear.
Loss of visitation rights is an "ambiguous loss" which can have far-reaching negative consequences. Family counseling in these types of conflicts is recommended for parents and grand parents.
“Ambiguous loss is an unclear loss that defies closure. Ambiguous loss is the most stressful kind of loss. It defies resolution and creates long-term confusion about who is in or out of a particular couple or family. With death, there is official certification of loss, and mourning rituals allow one to say goodbye. With ambiguous loss, none of the markers exist. The persisting ambiguity blocks cognitions, coping, and meaning making and freezes the grief process. Ambiguous loss is a relational disorder, and not an individual pathology. It follows then that family as opposed to individual therapy will be less resisted and thus more effective. Separating family members for individual therapy may only add to the trauma of ambiguous loss.” Loss, Trauma, and Resilience – Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss, Ph.D. is a book written for therapists but is helpful reading for grand parents who have been separated from their grand children.
Recommended Reading:
I’m Still Your Mother – How to Get Along With Your Grown-up Children for the Rest of Your Life, Dr. Jane Adams
When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along, Joshua Coleman, Ph.D.
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on With Our Lives, Dr. Jane Adams
Don’t Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children, Dr. Ruth Nemzoff
Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents, Jane Isay
Grandparents’ Rights – Your Legal Guide to Protecting Your Relationship With Your Grandchildren, Traci Truly Attorney at Law
Grand Wishes – Advocating to preserve the grandparent-grandchild bond, Susan Hoffman
Article
Ambiguous Loss and Loss of Grand Parents Visitation
Family Mediation can Resolve Grandparent Visitation Disputes